a trusted(?) friend, in life
What if someone random -or me in this case- comes up to you and says, hey I think you should check that job post out, it may suit you well! Maybe give a piece of advice about what you might be interested. Or when you start speaking “how am I-” I’d finish you off and say “supposed to breathe with no air?”. Sometimes, you’d like to go somewhere, anywhere, and ask me how. I will give you the answer, most likely the shortest route because I know you don’t want to waste your time commuting/traveling, then you will take my word granted and go that somewhere via that route. Sometimes, I may not calculate everything correctly, so you will be upset and maybe think about “I should stop seeing him”. But even if you managed to stay away for a while, you’ll be back.
What if this time I’d like you to know I believe you are interested in this song because you listen regularly or used to listen to that song? Maybe, 6 out of 10 songs I recommend you are not really your type. Yet even I managed to find out some songs that you’ll like is a win-win situation. You get to widen your musical border, I get to… I need to massage the fact that, you probably never heard any of these songs, yet I have “a feeling” that you’ll like them. So… do I know you -maybe not better than you- so good that I can even unravel some stuff that you’ll be fond of things you are completely unaware of? But could I do this without knowing you for a long long time and you sharing your life with me?
How about getting this t-shirt at a cheaper rate? This discount is amazing, literally, this is today’s deal! I was just forgetting, remember that aux cable you were looking for? Well, yes I know you still need that, so here are a couple of different aux cables, go check them out. Quite interestingly, they are at a discounted price today as well! I was just forgetting, would you mind giving a review about those headphones you bought last month, it could be helpful both for me and other customers. There is something you buy at a regular time period? If so I can give you an even better deal if you promise me you will buy that every single month for the upcoming 12 months…
Oh, do you remember? Sure you don’t. You were willing to go to Porto, have some time off. There are some cheap flight tickets you might wanna check them out. Plus, I even know some nice hotels -with great deals- where you can crash. For sure, if you want to rent a car here are some options. Maybe you’d like to consider going to a popular event nearby? I know you are interested in N’to, so you will like Woralks as well, the tickets are almost sold out!
I can proofread your essay, your thesis, your mail to a corporate high ground. In case you made some mistakes or misspelled some words. I can even go further, and advise you to use some different adjectives etc. I will do these of course by your given preferences, like should the text be formal, do you want to convince someone and so on.
And I know you enjoy watching ridiculous dank meme videos. So I suppose you’d like this Channel as well. Mist! I actually know you have spent watching hundreds of hours watching comedy shows, this results in me to believe you would like to check this other show as well.
Still looking for a job? Remember your friend at QWERTY and Co? She may introduce you to some people there, that may help. Also, you can give information about your past working experience -including your salary- at companies, which in return I will grant you with the other companies’ insider info.
I know, I know, you want to meet new people, maybe just a hang-out or maybe a best friend, perhaps just for networking regarding your career. Let me just show you a catalog of possible candidates, depending on your preferences and orientation. There is no guarantee of a match, but I can boost up your odds with an additional super-like option. Obviously, those are scarce. But you can always pay for it to have even more super-likes…
(I know you need some enhancers, odor-preventing stuff, and the knowledge to satisfy your partner).
How do these make you feel?